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No software will handle what you need to do if you're a parent.
 technofile
Al Fasoldt's reviews and commentaries, continuously available online since 1983

T e c h n o f i l e
Simple ways to keep kids safer when they go online


Dec. 19, 2004


By Al Fasoldt
Copyright © 2004, Al Fasoldt
Copyright © 2004, The Post-Standard

   Readers often ask for advice on the best software for various tasks. There's something reassuring about software that takes care of everything with just a click or two.
   But no software will handle what you need to do if you're a parent. Over the holidays, the kids are home from school and many of you have new computers. Your kids are just a click or two away from bad decisions. You have to help them.
   No programs will do that for you. You have to teach them to be careful. And, as difficult as it might be for parents who are working while their children are at home, you have to supervise them in whatever way you can. You can't give up on this. They're too important.
   I have five suggestions. I call them that to make it easier for you to go along with my ideas. But if I were emperor for a day, I'd make them laws of the land.
   1. Put the family computer where it's in plain sight. This is the single most effective way of keeping kids from wandering into Web sites they should be staying away from.
   It has two other benefits, too: It puts an adult or older sibling within earshot for a quick question about the suitability of anything that shows up on the screen (kids do want to know -- they really do), and it keeps you or the old brothers and sisters from wondering what the younger kids are doing. When you know what's going on, you have no reason to mistrust your children.
   2. Don't let any of your kids have salacious or come-hither e-mail addresses or instant messaging names. This isn't funny at all. E-mail addresses might be the only identification kids have when they write to someone else, and instant messaging names aren't just the names on a buddy list; they're visible to strangers who lurk on the messaging systems.
   Sexual innuendoes might be understandable from 25-year-olds who are looking for love in all the wrong places, but they're completely inappropriate for kids. If you don't already know the e-mail address names and instant messaging handles your children use, find out now.
   3. Tell your kids they need your approval to send e-mail to anyone other than their friends. The easiest way to keep your kids safe from predators who send seemingly innocuous letters to school-age children is to make sure you know the identities of everyone they correspond with.
   4. Ask your kids to tell you the real identities of everyone on their buddy lists. If you see inappropriate names or handles on those lists, e-mail a copy of this article to the parents of those kids. (Yes, be that way. We're talking about protecting our children here. Let's take back the Internet and make it safe again.)
   If your kids seem reluctant to tell you who any of their "buddies" are, you know they are hiding something. Use the menus in the software to find out who those people are. If you can't find out, you've got some serious problem-solving to do, and your kids should not be allowed online until they're straight with you.
   5. If you have Windows, run spyware checks every day after your kids have finished using the computer. (Get a good spyware remover if you don't already have one. Ad-Aware and Spybot Search & Destroy are both helpful.) Spyware is a Windows problem exclusively; there is no spyware for Apple Macintosh computers. Likewise, if you have Windows, you absolutely MUST have good antivirus software, and you MUST keep it up to date. I recommend AVG from www.grisoft.com. (There are no viruses for modern Macintosh computers.)