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Let's take a look at that letter from "Big Daddy." Should I start out my reply with "Dear Mr. Daddy"? Does "Dear Big" work better?
   technofile
Al Fasoldt's reviews and commentaries, continuously available online since 1983

Getting a handle on e-mail names


July 26, 2000

By Al Fasoldt
Copyright ©2000, Al Fasoldt
Copyright ©2000, The Syracuse Newspapers

   First there was Citizen Band radio. Then there was e-mail.
   We've been cursed over since.
   The CB craze of the 1970s changed the way millions of Americans identified themselves. Instead of names, we had "handles." It must have seemed cute to chat on a CB radio with someone you knew only as "Mix Master" or "Cherry Pie." Calling yourself "Sweet Pea" or "Rocket Socket" must have had an air of intrigue.
   Online services started to become popular just as the CB craze was dying out. These services weren't connected to the Internet the way they all are now. They seemed like private chat and message clubs to their users, the way America Online still seems today.
   And so the earliest AOL subscribers probably brought the CB habit with them when they had to fill out their e-mail account information. Instead of entering their names (in full or abbreviated form) into the software, they typed made-up handles.
   They're still doing it today, along with millions of others who are copying what those AOL pioneers taught the rest of the e-mail world. If you've been doing e-mail for more than a few months, you've seen what I'm talking about -- letters that seem to come from strangers until you figure out that "Rose Pedal" is the bicycle fan next door or notes from "Bippy341" that turn out to be letters from your sister-in-law.
   It's too late to stop the craziness. Handles are here to stay, like it or not. But it's not too late to learn some manners. People who insist on using handles should take on extra step and put their real names at the bottom of their e-mail messages. That way, they get what they want -- a cute individualized persona -- and all of us who receive their mail get what we want. And that, of course, is a real person with a real name at the other end of the connection.
   I'm tired of getting anonymous mail from strangers asking for help. It's bad enough getting anonymous mail from strangers who are trying to sell me something. I know why the folks in the second category are hiding their identities, but I don't understand why someone who wants direct, personal assistance would send a letter without a name.
   All I get in these cases is a handle. But a handle isn't a name. It's not a real identity. The bank down the street doesn't give out loans to "Cherry Pie" or "Big Daddy" -- it wants names, and they have to be real ones. I feel the same way when I get mail from someone who wants a personal response.
   Let's take a look at that letter from "Big Daddy." My first problem is the oldest one in the book. I have no intelligent way to address my response. Should I start it out with "Dear Mr. Daddy"? Does "Dear Big" work better?
   How about "Bippy341"? (I realize that AOL sticks numbers after your handle if someone else has that name already, but can it be that AOL has 340 others named "Bippy"?)
   "Dear Bippy341 ..."
   No, that won't work. Sounds crazy.
   "Dear Ms. Bippy..." Somehow I feel that anyone named "Bippy" has to be female. But that's sexist. Men could be named "Bippy," right?
   "Dear Mr./Ms. Bippy..." Awk! That's terrible.
   "Dear Bippy..." That's closer. Or maybe, "Dear Bip..."
   What I usually do in cases such as this is leave out the greeting. I just start writing a reply as if I'd known the recipient for years. That's bad manners, I agree. But it sure beats "Mr./Ms. Bippy" and all the other possibilities.
   All this would be unnecessary if everyone who uses e-mail would take one simple step. You can do this easily. All you have to do is send yourself a letter and look at it.
   Look at the bottom. Do you see a name?
   If you see a name, make sure it's the name you want others to see when they read the letters you send. If you see a handle, make sure you add your name on a second line.
   You don't even have to do this more than once. Most mail software lets you create a "signature" that is automatically placed at the end of all your letters. You can be as plain or as fancy as you want. A good signature should be long enough to be informative but not so long that it annoys those who read your letters.
   I get carried away sometimes and add short quotes to my signature, but otherwise it's just my name and a list of links for activities I'm involved in.
   Try the same thing. Most importantly, send yourself a letter and look at it. You'll see what others see, and it might as well leave a good impression.